While I would have preferred to shut myself off to the world and get lost in a pint of ice cream while crying hysterically to every RomCom Netflix has to offer… That just wasn’t an option. I’m smack in the middle of my three month Eurotrip with five days in the beautiful city of Florence… this once in a lifetime endeavor. I gave myself the first night here to be alone, to drown in my sadness. It took so much of me to get out of bed the next morning, knowing I had to find the strength to bear through my pain and do what I came here to do… to explore, to get lost and to experience as much possible.

Florence is the first place where I didn’t have any friends to visit or didn’t try to make friends as I had in Berlin, Warsaw, Krakow and Prague. I wanted to be as alone as I felt. I needed quiet, to sit with my incessant thoughts and over-analyzations. I had to soak in my feelings of sorrow, disappointment, hurt and anger… embracing every aspect of them before I could begin to let that heavy weight and burden go knowing that they are all valid but useless emotions.

In these days, I wandered until my feet ached, I climbed a whole lot of stairs, I ate, I drank, I saw beauty in many forms and on my last evening, I walked the heart of the city at midnight for an hour in the pouring rain, allowing myself to give in to deep, guttural sobs… to feel the pain in every part of my body and heart.

I am not sure how a week can feel so long and so short at the same time. I threw myself back into work in the evenings and spent the days touring. I took myself on dates… I ate alone for the first time, a full three course meal seated in an empty restaurant… I went to museums to stand in awe of David and beautiful Renaissance paintings… I did my hair and makeup, threw on the only dress I have with me and went to the opera.

I was alone physically but received such an outpouring of love from close friends, family and even some people I barely know… it reminded me of what I have built, this tapestry of life I have weaved of experiences and human connections. I have worked hard to be where I am… physically and emotionally. I wasn’t always happy, I actually didn’t used to think life was worth living. It took years of work, introspection and patience to become the brave, open and smiling person that I am now. Happiness is a conscious effort, a practice of every day gratitude. I am grateful to be exactly who and where I am. I am grateful for the people in my life, for the inspiration and the encouragement. It reminds me that I am not really alone and gives me the strength I need to continue on and embrace this adventure.

Moments in Florence:
-On the first day, I walked along the Arno river and across the Ponte Vecchio. I listened to a violinist play Frank Sinatra’s ‘My Way’. It could not have been or felt more perfect.
-I saw the Fountain of Neptune, climbed the stairs to view the city from the Piazzale Michelangelo and got lost in the alleys.
-I toured San Lorenzo’s Basilica – built in 393 and reconstructed in 1418. I saw works by Donatello and Michelangelo in this beautiful church.
-I woke up early to avoid lines and climbed 463 steps to the top of the Duomo as monks chanted in the church below. I then climbed 152 more steps to the top of the bell tower for a better view of the Duomo. I lit a candle in the Santa Maria Basilica then explored the crypt that lies beneath it.
-I enjoyed the solitude of a private patio for work and reflection.
-I was smacked in the face with the smell of leather as I roamed San Lorenzo’s market and haggled for a new pair of sunglasses to replace the ones I lost.
-I saved an older gentlemen from being pick pocketed on a bus.
-I visited the Galleria dell’Accademia where I saw instruments, statues and paintings that were centuries older than America. I saw my family’s lucky #23 on a harpsichord from the 18th century which was a sign I needed (the number also came up 3 more times that day). I marveled at the sheer size and beauty of Michelangelo’s David.
-I got lost in the Galleria degli Uffizi. I bargained for them to let me in 2 1/2 hours earlier than my reservation was for and I’m grateful I did. It’s a place you could easily spend all day. There are long hallways and over 100 rooms (then offshoots of rooms in those rooms). Everything is art… the art itself, the ceilings, the floors… It’s like walking in a giant art maze. I tried to soak it all in but it was a bit overwhelming and stuffy, I was happy to be back out in fresh air after 2 hours. It’s easily my favorite museum, one of the most beautiful I have ever seen. The art is indescribably beautiful. I was in awe at the size and detail in these works. Boticelli’s ‘Birth of Venus’ was incredible to see in person.
-I waited for a bus in the rain when a 4’8” grandmother (and that’s being generous with those inches) approached and spoke to me. I just smiled and gave shrug (I couldn’t understand what she said but I could tell it was a comment about me getting soaked). She smiled back and extended her arm as high as she could to reach the umbrella over my head. She’ll never know how much this gesture of kindness meant to me.
-I listed to Mozart, Amadeus and selections from famous operas (La Traviata, La Bohème, Tosca, Madame Butterfly, The Marriage of Figaro, and the Barber of Seville) in the beauty and acoustics of the Santa Monaca Church while drinking champagne.

Food highlights:
-I ate Tuscan tomato bread soup at a family owned restaurant. My server, Tony, works in LA as a chef and was home visiting his family for a few months. He brought me the food his mother made with pride and shared a glass of prosecco he and his brother made with me.
–Cornetto, the Italian croissant. I ate it fresh from the oven with a cappuccino on a crisp morning.
-I had milk with honey & sesame and coffee crunch gelato at Perché No which was voted one of the best in Florence.

Language highlights:
–Life is beautiful: La vita è bella
–Please: Per favore
–How much?: Quanto costa? A necessity for haggling in the market. Always express your disdain for the first price they give, pause a moment and state what you’d like to pay for the item. If they say no, place it down, say thank you and slowly walk away. 90% of the time, they’ll call you back with ‘okay. okay.’

AIRPORTS: 13
FLIGHTS: 15
TRAINS: 7
BUSES: 3
STATES: 7
COUNTRIES: 6
CONTINENTS: 3
DAYS TRAVELING: 110
CURRENCIES: 5