Lisbon is indescribably beautiful… the foliage, the architecture, the people, the water, the parks, the culture.

Portugal was not originally on my traveling list, but my couch surfing host (and now good friend) in Poland, Goska, insisted I must see Lisbon. Two of her friends, Jorge and Carla, took me in without hesitation… even taking time off work in the 5 days I was here to show me around.

They knew my work schedule and created an itinerary so that each day I could see the best parts of Lisbon and the surrounding areas. It was such a relief to have a break in planning and decision making! I am in such awe at the overwhelming kindness and generosity of ‘strangers’ I have experienced on this trip.

I’m going to call Lisbon the sister city of San Francisco. They have two bridges into the city just like SF which even look like the Golden Gate and the Bay Bridge. They have big hills and cable cars, which I rode for the first time (never did that in 4 years of living in SF!). Being close to the ‘end’ of this journey, with my heart longing for SF, it was nice to feel so close to home even far away.

On my first evening, I experienced fado over dinner and drinks with Carla, Jorge and two of their friends.

“Fado is a music genre which can be traced to the 1820s in Portugal, but probably with much earlier origins… fado is a form of music characterized by mournful tunes and lyrics, often about the sea or the life of the poor, and infused with a sentiment of resignation, fatefulness and melancholia. This is loosely captured by the Portuguese word saudade, or ‘longing’, symbolizing a feeling of loss (a permanent, irreparable loss and its consequent lifelong damage). “ “Whatever its origins its themes have remained constant: destiny, betrayal in love, death and despair. A typical lyric goes: ‘Why did you leave me, where did you go? I walk the streets looking at every place we were together, except you’re not there.’”

To see men and women walking in from the street (or even from the kitchen as two cooks did) to sing songs of pain and loss… to hear the genuine sorrow as they sang… it was moving and beautiful. It’s not often that the sadness in life is given such a public place. As my friend Niki put it, “It is also part of the Portuguese culture to speak of the good with the bad rather than the rose colored version of life americans share… beautiful.”

In Lisbon, I was able to embrace my own sadness in a different way. There is a constant ache in my chest, my heart more confused than ever… I continue to battle with the sadness and longing… torturing myself with the playback of events and analyzation of the people we became at the end of our relationship, of the hurt we have caused each other. I know I have to let go (at least of the control in having to know what the future holds) but I’m incapable of existing in the unknown. Lisbon taught me that I can create it a space for it in my life, without letting it consume me.

Moments in Lisbon:
-fado and dinner at Taberna A Baiuca Alfama which ended with the entire restaurant breaking into dance for last song
-the gorgeous stone design on the streets all over Lisbon but especially Rossio Square
-the Cais das Colunas representing where the ships would dock
-seeing a smaller version of the Christ in Rio (a gift from Brazil to Portugal), remembering the fun time I had climbing to the top with my best girls
-the train ride to Cascais (it’s listed as top 10 most beautiful in Europe)
–Cascais: the beach, the harbor and the Boca do Inferno (mouth of hell) chasm in the cliffs there
-The president’s ‘pink’house and the garden in front of it
-a huge monastery from 13th century
–Belem Tower: “the last landmark explorers saw as they sailed out of Lisbon to ‘discover’ unknown parts of the world”
-the war memorial with an eternal flame and soldiers marching and saluting
-visiting the midevil town of Sintra where the flowers were in full bloom and you feel as if you’ve stepped back in time
-exploring the massive area of La Quinta da Regaleira in Sintra… we saw a waterfall, a grotto, a park, a mansion, a tower, a small church, a deep well, the fountain of abundance… we walked through dark tunnels and saw flowers I’ve never seen including so much wild lilac which I could not stop breathing in
-laughing at a police dog training in the park who had no interest in doing as he was supposed to
-taking a ride on the sky tram (which they call a cable car here) with Carla
-walking an avenue of monuments (so many more beautiful statues of strong women) with Jorge on my last day and finding the perfect dress for the Moulin Rouge on Saturday for only 18 euro (after hunting 3 malls and 2 shopping strips in 2 countries)!
-luckily missing (again) a train strike right before I came and another starting the day I left (I took a cab because of the early departure time)
-The security at the Lisbon airport tore through every inch of my tightly packed luggage (due to very strict Ryanair policies on size), I then had to argue with them to not take away the small lotion container I’ve traveled through 17 airports with (which they did anyway)… Apparently my sensual amber scent is a threat to national security. I later realized my fly was down the whole time. And my fly was down the whole time, which I only now realized. I bargained with him to let me empty the lotion into one of their plastic bags (which looks disgusting by the way). I then asked for my empty container back since it was now just an empty container. He said I was a ‘tricky girl‘ and wouldn’t give it to me… I’d still like to think I won this battle.

Food highlights:
–porto as an apertiff
–despite an extreme distaste for seafood, I ate octopus and tuna
-with the Brazilian influence in Lisbon, I was able to enjoy some of my favorite treats: coxinha, pao de quiejo, brigadeiro and gaurana
–Pastéis de Belém: small custard pastries that have been made the same way in this restaurant since 1837
–queijada and travesseiro pastries in Sintra
–ginja, sour cherry liquor in a chocolate cup / shot that you ate afterward
-a deliciously typical Portuguese dinner with meats I could not distinguish and didn’t want to attempt to (despite some not so pleasant company)
–flank steak topped with a sunny side up egg… I’ll be using this recipe when I get back!

Languages highlights:

Saudade: “It describes a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one loves. Moreover, it often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing may never return. Saudade was once described as “the love that remains” after someone is gone. Saudade is the recollection of feelings, experiences, places or events that once brought excitement, pleasure, well-being, which now triggers the senses and makes one live again. It can be described as an emptiness, like someone (e.g., one’s children, parents, sibling, grandparents, friends, pets) or something (e.g., places, things one used to do in childhood, or other activities performed in the past) that should be there in a particular moment is missing, and the individual feels this absence. It brings sad and happy feelings all together, sadness for missing and happiness for having experienced the feeling.”

AIRPORTS: 17
FLIGHTS: 17
TRAINS: 11
BUSES: 3
STATES: 7
COUNTRIES: 8
CONTINENTS: 3
DAYS TRAVELING: 131
CURRENCIES: 5