Category Archives: self realization

One year on the road.

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One year ago today, on a rainy day in San Francisco, I packed all of my belongings in a 6x8x8 storage unit. I had no clue when I would be unpacking it, where or with who. I didn’t imagine that a year later, I’d still be traveling.

I have been living out of a backpack, traveling the U.S., Australia, and Europe for 12 months while working 40-60 hours a week in Pacific Coast hours. I have explored corners of the world and myself in ways I am still trying to understand. I have been invigorated and exhausted… inspired and discouraged…. enamored and lonely…

I still haven’t had time to process it all, I’ve remained in a constant state of movement since I returned stateside in May… I have been flying or driving my SmartCar to visit friends in many cities, completing 5 more Tough Mudders and have started studying to become a certified personal trainer. There has been little rest, but a lot of love and learning.

I’m at a crossroads in my life, relationship and career… vulnerable and exposed in ways I’ve never felt before. I’ve learned to exist more peacefully in the proverbial ‘grey area‘ but it’s not been easy or something I’m entirely comfortable with.

I have a few more weeks of travel before I return to San Francisco on January 3rd to begin the next big adventure… finding home. I crave this stability. I cannot wait to return to my community there, I have traveled the world and realized that it is where I belong. It’s interesting what becomes clearer as the focus or lens changes. I’ll be unpacking and rooting in, creating routines and in some ways, beginning a new life in a familiar place. I’m walking the fine line between excited and terrified. 

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The Evolution of Schtuff

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I traveled internationally for 4 months wearing a 45 liter pack on my back and a smaller backpack in the front through 15 countries. I had to be prepared for all climates – the nauseating heat of summer in Australia, the bitter cold of dead winter in Poland and Germany and the downpours of spring in Italy. I sent my ex-boyfriend back from Italy with a few extra items in his luggage and shipped a small package from Madrid a month before returning. I had posted a list of what I carried when I departed in January so I figured it was only appropriate to show what I returned with. Items in red were lost, broken or sent back to the states. Items in green were purchased along the way.

in 45 liter pack:
-1 pair of stylish boots – these got tossed in late April into a trash can in Leiden, Holland after quite literally being worn until disintegration
-1 pair of sneakers
-1 pair of black sandals purchased in a size too small (apparently they don’t have big footed women in Western Europe) in Lisbon to wear to the Moulin Rouge
-1 pair of black flip flops – these were tossed in the beginning of my trip in Australia to save space knowing I was headed into the winter months of Germany and Poland
-2 dresses (1 casual & 1 fancy) – I ended up with a different formal dress purchased in Lisbon for the Moulin Rouge after sending my ‘fancy’ dress back with Jon
-1 thin, stylish hoodie
-1 nice, outerwear jacket – this jacket ended up not being warm enough nor as waterproof as I thought and was replaced with a purple Northface in Rome
-1 cute cardigan sweater
-1 fashion scarf
-1 pair of jeans – these jeans grew too big and were sent back with Jon – I bought a new pair of denim and a grey pair of pants in Florence – a pair bought in Berlin was shipped back from Madrid
-1 pair of jeggings – sent back with Jon
-1 pair of shorts – sent back with Jon
-1 pair of capri pants – shipped back from Madrid
-1 pair of pajama pants purchased in Berlin
-1 Paddington Bear pajama set purchased in London
-1 fancy tank top – ruined during a laundry incident in Prague
-2 tanks tops / under shirts – shipped back from Madrid – replaced with 2 tank top bras from Lisbon
-1 long sleeve shirt – ruined in Prague – new one purchased in Lisbon
-2 blouses
-3 cotton blouses – 2 shirts ruined in Prague – replaced in Lisbon
-2 cotton t-shirts – 1 shirt ruined in Prague
-1 workout tank top
-1 sports bra
-1 tan bra
-1 bathing suit
-1 camping towel – sent back with Jon
-21 pairs of underwear – ended with 16 pairs of underwear
-14 pairs of socks
-1 reusable shopping bag for dirty laundry
-1 toiletry bag containing: deodorant, a razor with extra blades, shampoo, facewash, lotion, toothpaste, toothbrush, floss, QTips, tampons, nail file, prescribed anti-anxiety medication, comb, extra hair elastics, a headband, bobby pins, makeup and some jewelry
-1 blue hat haggled for in Rome – sent back with Jon
-2 pairs of earrings purchased in Seville
-1 bracelet gifted by a co-worker in Paris
-1 ring purchased in Florence
-1 trinket bracelet gifted to me in Galway
-1 new claddaugh ring purchased in Cork at Blarney Castle

in backpack:
-purse (containing ID, passport, hand sanitizer, sunglasses + wallet) – purse was destroyed – new one purchased in Seville – new sunglasses were also purchase in Florence and then again in London to replace lost pairs + 1 leather sunglass case purchased in Florence
-computer + charger for work
-iPad for work-phone + charger
-mobile phone charger purchased in Australia
-wall outlet adapter
-headphones
-sweet leather fanny pack – sent back with Jon
-leather journal – shipped back from Madrid
-hello / goodbye book for memories + notes from people I meet along my journey
-blank watercolor postcard – shipped back from Madrid
-watercolor travel kit – shipped back from Madrid
-1 reusable plastic water bottle – broke in Germany
-travel pillow purchased during layover in London on the way to Australia
-2 books from Amsterdam, 1 was purchased and 1 was gifted
-1 beautiful hand crocheted ping gifted to me in Germany – lost in Prague
– 1 book gifted to me in Poland  – sent back with Jon
-1 book gifted to me in Augsburg – re-gifted to a friend in Frankfurt
-1 small Astronomical table clock gifted to me in Prague – sent back with Jon
-artwork purchased on the streets of Prague and Venice – sent back with Jon
-stainless steel Italian espresso maker purchased in Venice – sent back with Jon
-personalized wax seal kit with gold wax given to me in Venice – sent back with Jon
-small trinkets and presents purchased through traveling (some stayed with me) – most sent back with Jon or shipped from Madrid
-4 chocolate bars purchased in Belgium
-37 pins purchased from each city visited in Australia and Europe
-1 of each coin in the 7 currencies I paid with
-1 CD purchased from a band playing in a park in Barcelona
-1 spoon – stolen in Germany – used to take selfies throughout Europe

Before
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After
packing after trip
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The unplanned journey, in review

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When I purchased my tickets in October, I had no idea where the journey would take me. I started with a road trip to SoCal before returning to pack up my life in San Francisco. I spent 7 weeks visiting friends and family in the U.S. before flying to Australia to spend 2 1/2 weeks with a friend. I then did the most frightening thing I’ve ever done, I flew to Germany to begin 3 months of solo traveling in Europe where I had no plans. I worked a full time job in the evening to keep up with West Coast business hours hours, exploring each city in the day while planning my next move.

I traveled between 7 states and 15 countries on 3 continents. I made 5 stops in the U.S., 3 in Australia and 30 in Europe. I took 7 NewEurope Free Walking Tours, 6 paid tours, rented a bike in Holland and a car in Ireland (I drove on the other side of the road in the other side of the car!). I visited more museums and churches than I endeavor to count.

I spent money in 7 currencies., including the $4469.64 spent on 23 flights, 14 train rides and 4 buses over 154 days of traveling. I stayed with friends and friends of friends, couch-surfed in 4 cities and spent $934 on AirBnb room rentals (less than what I paid for 1 month’s rent in San Francisco). Including travel and accomodations, my monthly expenses were $289 less than they were in San Francisco!

It was a challenge for me to be without plans, it threw me completely out of my comfort zone but I’d say it was better than I ever could have organized. I went to some places I didn’t even have on my radar before I left for my trip.
10/19 – 11/2 SoCal (Ventura, LA and San Diego)
12/7 – 12/17 Washington, DC
12/17 – 12/28 Port Saint Lucie, Florida
12/28 – 1/4 Detroit, Michigan
1/4 – 1/29 Connecticut (plus a day trip to Rhode Island)
1/4 – 2/15 Australia (Sydney, Bondi & Melbourne)
2/15 – 3/5 Germany (Augsburg, Frankfurt & Berlin)
3/5 – 3/9 Poland (Warsaw, Krakow & Auschwitz)
3/9 – 3/13 Czech Republic (Prague & Kutna Hora)
3/13 – 3/28 Italy (Rome, Cinque Terre, Venice, Florence & Pisa)
3/28 – 4/11 Spain (Madrid, Seville & Barcelona)
4/11 – 4/16 Portugal (Lisbon, Cascais & Sintra)
4/16 – 4/19 France (Paris)
4/19 – 4/20 Belgium (Brussels)
4/20 – 4/24 The Netherlands (Leiden & Amsterdam)
4/24 – 4/26 Denmark (Copenhagen)
4/26 – 4/27 Scotland (Edinburgh)
4/27 – 5/3 Ireland (Cork, Dublin, Galway & Cliffs of Moher)
5/3 – 5/7 England (London)

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London: The Final Countdown (da da ding ding ding)

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Throughout four months of travel, I have been able to update my blog within two days of leaving a city even while working, enjoying the new destination and planning for the next. However, I’ve been back in Connecticut for almost three weeks and have been dragging my feet to write my ‘last’ blog post. Perhaps I was concerned that penning this entry would really cement that the trip is over?

It was a beautiful time to be in London… I was blessed with more perfect weather and everything seemed to fall right into place. Literally everything.

It was the perfect last stop as so many things came full circle and I got to meet up with many people I knew from home or traveling. It was a good ease back into not being alone anymore: I caught up with Ellie who I met at a bar in Venice in March… Tim who I met on a walking tour in Barcelona in April… Claire, another of my colleagues from my remote company… Connor, Jon’s co-worker and a good friend of ours who happens to be working in London for a few months…my favorite kiwi, Dean who I’d met in San Francisco when I first moved there 4 years ago… Angel, who I worked with at Outback Steakhouse ten years ago… and the stars aligned for Nicola and I to be together again in the last days of my trip which could not have been more poetic since I began this journey with her in Australia 4 months prior.

Angel and her husband, Andrew were incredible hosts. I barely knew Angel outside of work but always felt a strong connection with her. Catching up after a decade demonstrated that my intuition is usually correct. We had such a wonderful time chatting and laughing as if we’d grown up together and never spent a day apart. The irony of watching my former Outback co-worker get along so well with my Australian friend was not lost on me and was too heart-warming to put into words (but don’t worry, we have the pictures that are worth thousands of ‘em).

I think it will be awhile before I can really reflect on these four months as a whole. At the moment, it seems like a hazy dream…. something that happened to someone else in a different life. I’m home and it feels as if nothing AND everything has changed.

Moments in London:
-Staying with Angel and her husband, Andrew, in the apartments originally built for the athletes of the 2012 Olympics – London is setting a great example of what sustainability and community improvement for host countries can be like
-Walking along the Thames River with Connor to see the London Eye, Big Ben, Shakespeare’s Globe, St. Paul’s Cathedral, the Sky Garden and the Tower of London… we enjoyed a beer by the water then had lunch (where I was ID’ed to prove I was of legal drinking age which is 18 – score!) before I had to start work
-Surviving the central line, or Satan’s Asshole, as Andrew so aptly calls it for it’s depth under ground, horrendous, screeching sounds, packed cars and muggy heat
-After running up over 200 stairs and about a mile to the meeting location, Angel and I barely made it to Covent Garden in time for the walking tour to meet up with Tim
–Highlights from Sandeman’s New Europe Walking Tour: Buckingham Palace (including the changing of the guards), Churchill’s War Cabinet Bunker, The House of Parliament, St. Martin-in-the-Fields, Westminster Abbey, Trafalgar Square, Nelson’s Column, the Palace of Westminster and St. James’s Park where I saw a black swan (I never knew they really existed)!
-I learned what ‘hay fever‘ is by experiencing it’s madness with the blooming trees of London and the tiny, sharp pollen prickers that try to blind you (OUCH!)
-Meeting Claire and having just as much fun in person as we do on conference lines… we got coffee and walked through the Victorian Park
-Meeting Ellie for ‘a drink’ which turned into two bottles of wine over girl talk and a Coors while waiting for the train home
-Hanging out in the super hip Camden district with Angel and Nicola where we flipped through the racks of vintage clothing of the Stable Markets, checked out the Rave / Kink clothing in Cyderdog and dressed to the nines as Victorian badasses for old time-y photos (where we were a major, but entertaining pain in the ass)… we spent the entire afternoon shopping and giggling like we were in a 90’s montage
-Dean led the ladies on a long walk to the Camden Town Brewery for some fucking delicious brews, gave us the real science behind the ‘lock system’ for boat passage and then took us to Ye Olde Chesire Cheese (the oldest pub in London where we attempted to list all 50 states then had a TMI conversation with the last stragglers in the bar before closing)
-Buying matching Paddington Bear pajamas after walking around the mall with Nicola (I wish we had PriMark and especially Tiger in the States) then strolling through Hackney Wick, East London and the Ridley Road Market stopping for ciders and beers in each neighborhood
-Walking toward the Shoreditch neighborhood and witnessing a crazy scene of a woman running back and forth across a busy street, trying to fight two men with a baby in her arms… it’s good to know that dialing ‘9-1-1’ works anywhere thanks to the influence of American culture!
-Spending my last night in Europe with Connor… we had a beer a Waxy O’Connor’s (another fun theme bar), walked around the Theater district of Soho (which reminds me of Times Square), watched the street performers and ate dinner at Jamie Oliver’s diner (my food crush since 2001)

Food Highlights:
-Angel cooking British classics she learned from her mother in law including bangers and mash, English breakfast and scones with clotted milk and black currant jam
–toffee crisp chocolate bar, England has some tasty candy
–Shepard’s Pie with sweet potatoes and lentils
-the most delicious chicken shawarma wrap
–Indian food takeout (so good) during a Disney movie night… London really is amazing for all cuisines
–my last meal in Europe: bangers and mash with a proper pint at the airport

Language Highlights:
-making out: snogging
-crosswalk: zeh-bra crossing
-ping pong: whiff waff
-that’s crazy: that’s mental!
-the story behind the expression ‘a stiff drink’ involving a dead admiral in a brandy barrel and some thirsty sailors

AIRPORTS: 24
FLIGHTS: 22
TRAINS: 15
BUSES: 4
STATES: 7
COUNTRIES: 15
CONTINENTS: 3
DAYS TRAVELING: 154
CURRENCIES: 7

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“Don’t think about what you want to be, but do what you want to do.”

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It has only been a week since the launching of my blog, but it certainly feels longer. Thank you to my friends and family for the kind words and overwhelming show of support – 88 followers!

My inspiration this week comes from an old friend, Everett, who shared the quote below on my Facebook wall. It could not be more poignant. It is true that we will never be able to figure it all out… we are barreling through space and time – everything around us is changing – we as humans are changing everyday… physically, emotionally, spiritually… in what we need and what we desire. Trying to analyze what is fleeting is not a good use of time or energy – instead let us truly exist in each moment, appreciate it as it is happening and be ready to roll along with the next one in this constantly shifting world. Let us not be afraid to see the beauty that exists in all of our interactions, let’s pay attention to the stories and lessons that lie within them.

“Don’t think about what you want to be, but do what you want to do.” By following your passion and doing what makes you happy, you will only naturally become the person you’ve always wanted to be.

And the best lesson I learned this week? Inspiration has a unique affect – the more that you are inspired, the more you become an inspiration to others. With all of the negativity, sadness and injustice in this world, it is important to focus in on and share this light as much as possible. SHARE YOUR LIGHT! Be vulnerable – don’t be afraid to share your dreams and your fears. Be willing to talk about them with anyone that you encounter – friends and strangers. Be receptive in allowing other people to share theirs with you. It’s not easy for me to be so open, but this past week has proven to me how imperative it really is. My fire has only been fueled by talking about it all week. Can someone please cue ‘This Little Light of Mine‘? Cause I’m going to let it shine… Let it shineeeeee, let it shine, let it shineeee!

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“Life isn’t about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself.”

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My uncle gave me a card with this quote on it when I moved to California in May of 2011. Some things you hear and think you understand until the day that it really clicks and the meaning changes entirely. … Continue reading →